Melancholy of Lars Von Trier
Part 1 JUSTINE
Sir
You can back up a little more if you want... I think you need that extra
I don't think he can hear you.
Sir, can you hear me up there?
Can you copy, sailor?
I think he's in a different county
It's like five feet.
And now he stops. He's got five feet here.
That's good. Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're a little close.
I think he can keep going a little bit, maybe.
Oh, no, no, no. He can't. I don't
Be careful, please. It is not my car. I will.
I promise.
Turn around to the left, please. Stop there, sir.
Straighten up, sir.
Yeah, I think I'm good there, right?
You're not even looking.
I can see it's not looking good.
I'm a very experienced driver
It's like really close on that side. Really?
Yeah, don't go any further forward. Just straight
How do I put it in...?
What?
This way?
Get out of the way.
Come on.
Sorry.
Yes, I know.
We're sorry.
I won't even bother saying how late you are.
Sorry. We're really sorry.
Hi.
Hi, Claire. So sorry.
Hi.
We probably should have taken something smaller.
This brilliant idea was yours of renting a stretch.
This is very much not my project, okay?
I spent the whole week with the dullest man on earth.
Not to mention the most expensive wedding planner on the planet.
Okay, so you want this?
Yeah, of course.
So, when you're there... and that was two hours ago.
Okay.
All right, let's go.
What star is that?
I don't know.
John, you're a bit of an expert on stars, aren't you?
I wouldn't say that.
Oh, yes you would.
Which one are you looking at exactly?
The red one.
I'm amazed you can see that.
That's Antares. It's the main star in the Scorpio constellation.
Justine
We just have to go to the stables to say hello to Abraham.
No, you're not. Oh, yes.
Who's Abraham?
Abraham.
Look, I'm married.
Michael's my husband now.
I'm sure you two will like each other.
Nice to meet you.
I'm his mistress. I'm the only one who can ride him.
That's not exactly true.
What? Occasionally I take her for a ride.
See you later.
I can no longer be silent.
All the guests are waiting for more than two hours.
I know.
I'm at the end of my rope.
Welcome to the reception of Mr. Steinam, Mr. Marko.
Thank you. Thank you, Little Father.
Would you be so good as to participate in the wedding bean lottery?
Of course.
Please submit your bid as to the total number
of beans in the bottle.
Yes, er... two million and six beans.
Two million and six beans.
Would you care to make a bid on behalf of your wife?
Oh, I don't dare to do that. I really don't.
Very well, we'll let madam's bid remain open.
We made it.
Hi, Mom.
Love that dress.
Congratulations Aunt Steelbreaker.
Thanks, Leo.
What's this? A dagger.
Wow.
Sweetheart.
Let me introduce you. This is Betty... and Betty.
Betty and Betty, this is my daughter, Justine.
Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm gonna say hi to everybody. Of course, of course.
Ladies and gentlemen
We waited a while for this. A toast to the bride and the groom.
Justine and Michael.
The tray must go left to right
From left to right.
Justine, I don't want to make a speech.
Why? Please.
What are you doing?
You'll see.
Excuse me.
Neither of the ladies sitting next to me has been given a spoon.
I'd like very much to have one.
Excuse me.
You're terrible.
Waiter.
Justine, would you mind slapping your father for me hard, please.
Tim.
Justine, listen up, goddammit.
As most of you know,
I'm here tonight playing sort of a double role.
On Michael's side, I'm best man.
And, coincidentally, I'm also the employer of the bride.
I've got nothing bad to say about the groom, but
The bride
Justine
Gorgeous woman
Where's my tagline?
You were always great in coming up with a tagline in a hurry.
What happened?
Did your emotional life suddenly take over?
Did finding the man of your life render you unable to work?
I'm just asking because if I were to choose between
a woman for my dear friend Michael and an employee
I would always choose the employee.
Advertising, Justine, advertising.
Justine, you were way, way, way too good for advertising.
You know it, I know it, we all know it.
So thank you for staying with it.
I'm gonna let you and the rest of you think about this tagline now
while I leak a bit of news.
Today the company hasn't lost a copywriter
The company has gained a new art director.
And that's you, Justine.
Congratulations.
Goddammit, you earned it.
The father of the bride wants a word.
My dear girl, you look
glowing today.
And me, I'm just a little confused what with all the Bettys at my table.
Never seen you look so happy.
So, what can say without talking about your mother?
My wife of yesteryear.
Which is exactly what I don't wish to do.
I don't think that I would be revealing any secret
if I were to say
that she can be very domineering at times.
Domineering?
What a load of crap.
For those who don't know who I am, I'm Claire and Justine's mother.
Justine, if you have any ambition at all,
it certainly doesn't come from your father's side of the family.
Yes.
I wasn't at the church. I don't believe in marriage.
Claire, whom I have always taken for a sensible girl,
you've arranged a spectacular party.
Till death do us part and forever and ever
Justine and Michael.
I just have one thing to say
Enjoy it while it lasts.
I myself hate marriages.
Gaby, please.
Especially when they involve my closest family members.
Why did you even bother coming?
Justine, come with me.
Listen to me. We agreed that you weren't going
to make any scenes tonight.
The don't want any scenes.
No, we don't.
No.
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
But I didn't do anything.
You know what I mean.
Okay.
Katherine has demanded the floor.
Where is the bride?
I've looked everywhere, no bride.
Now the groom is going to give a speech for the bride.
Dear Justine
What are you doing to me? I've never given a speech before.
I'm serious, I've never given a speech before.
Justine is the speaker. She can say the most wonderful things, but
Then let her make the speech, damn it.
Justine
I love you so much
And never dreamed that I would have such a gorgeous wife.
I believe that I'm the luckiest man on Earth.
I love you.
That's kind of it. That's all I have.
Hello, everyone, we're going to move to the living room
so that we can clear some tables.
Then the newlyweds will dance.
And then, at eleven thirty,
the bride and groom will cut the cake in here.
He wants to be put to bed.
Sweety, you did so good.
I wanna do it.
No, tonight's your night. No, please.
Are you sure? Yeah, come on.
Good night, sweetheart. Come on, come here.
Are you comfortable?
When are we gonna build caves together?
We're gonna build lots of caves together. Just not tonight.
You're still my aunt Steelbreaker, aren't you?
Yes. It's exactly who I am.
Justine
Hi, Claire.
I'm just taking a little nap.
Don't nap, it's your wedding.
You're not even halfway through yet.
No. you're right.
I have to pull myself together.
What's going on, Justine?
I'm trudging in through this
Praying really hard.
It's clinging to my legs.
It's really heavy to drag along.
No, you're not.
I know you'll hate to hear it.
Don't say a word to Michael.
You think I'm stupid?
I'll get her.
And my mom, too. Yeah.
Justine, It's John. We're ready to cut the cake, sweetheart.
Please come downstairs as soon as you can, okay?
Gaby
Gaby, I'm sorry to disturb you, but we're ready to cut the cake.
When Justine took her first crap on her potty,
I wasn't there.
When she had her first sexual intercourse, I wasn't there.
So give me a break, please, with all your fucking rituals.
Unbelievable, fucking unbelievable.
Everyone, thank you for being so patient.
We're just having a little issue with the wedding dress.
She'll be right down.
Those bitches have locked themselves in their bedrooms
and now they're taking a bath.
Is everybody in your family stark raving mad?
This is embarrassing. I know.
We should have put showers in the guest wing.
I've said it a hundred times.
For fuck's sakes, if people want to linger in a bath,
stay at home.
Here we offer you an 18 hole golf course, where else would they get that?
Nowhere.
Unbelievable.
That's it, she's out. What, Justine?
Your mother.
Unbelievable.
She ruined my wedding. I will not look at her.
Outstanding.
My God, we cut it.
I'm sorry.
No, don't say that.
You should never say you're sorry.
I can see that you're not feeling well tonight.
You should have seen you weren't ready yesterday.
I haven't been taking care of you lately.
It's my fault.
Can we talk somewhere? Of course.
Sit down, please.
I wasn't going to give you this until tomorrow.
I found our plot of land.
They call it Empire apples.
They're bright red and very sweet.
But with the perfect tartness.
I had one as a kid.
Beautiful, huh?
In ten years' time, when the trees have grown
you can sit in the shade, in a chair.
If you still have days when you're feeling a little sad
I think that will make you happy again.
It's very sweet.
Yeah?
No wonder you've been so busy.
I signed the deed for it yesterday, I didn't want to tell you.
Here.
No, you should have it,
I want you to have it with you all the time and hold on to it.
So you can look at it once in a while.
I'll always keep with me.
Maybe we can have a little swing hanging from one of the trees.
We'll talk about that when the time comes.
Yeah, no... of course.
When the time comes.
Goodbye.
You'd better be goddamn happy.
Yes, I should be.
I really should be.
Do you have any idea how much this party cost me?
A ballpark figure?
No.
I don't.
Should I? Yes, I think you should.
A great deal of money.
A huge amount of money.
In fact, for most people, an arm and a leg.
I hope you feel it's well spent.
Well, that depends on whether or not we have a deal.
A deal? Yes, a deal.
That you'll be happy.
Yes, of course. Of course we have a deal.
Good.
Congratulations.
I tried to throw your mother out.
Yes, you usually do.
Yes, I do.
Thank you.
It's a wonderful party you've given me.
How many holes are on our golf course?
Eighteen.
That's right.
Happy? Yeah.
This is the young man.
Congratulations. Thank you.
I'm Tim. Hi, Tim.
Tim started working for us two days ago.
He happens to be my nephew, but ignore that.
Tim thought I wouldn't be able to squeeze that tagline
out of you tonight.
I thought it might be difficult.
You're colleagues. I hired him the moment I heard
about his education.
What education is perfect if you want to make it
in Public Relations?
Tim?
None at all, of course.
It was almost too perfect.
He knows nothing. I hired him on the spot.
And at a very good salary. What do you say, Tim?
A very good salary.
Welcome, then, Tim.
There's just a slight catch to a very good job with a very good salary.
The salary is very good.
Why, what are you pushing Tim into doing?
To get that damn tagline out of you tonight.
Otherwise he's out on his ear, which sucks, considering the debts he's in.
Goodbye.
Once you give her a job, she won't let go.
You gotta be there at the time of birth, so you follow her now.
I mean, get that tagline.
Do let me know if the tagline's there and I'll jot it down.
Spare me.
I'll go out for a minute.
I'm really sorry.
I'm thrilled about this wedding and I know it's costing John a lot of money.
John's filthy mouth... He needs to shut up about it.
It's not about the cost.
It's just that I thought you really wanted this.
But I do.
Michael has tried to get through to you all evening
to no avail.
That's not true.
I smile and smile and smile
You're lying to all of us.
Don't you miss this?
What do you want in this place?
You've no business here.
Nor have I.
Your sister, it seems, is somewhat bewitched by you.
Mom
I'm a bit scared.
A bit?
I'd be scared out of my wits if I were you.
No, it's something else, I
I'm frightened, Mom.
I have trouble walking properly.
You can still wobble, I see.
So just wobble the hell out of here.
Stop dreaming, Justine.
I'm scared. We all are, sweetie.
Just forget it. Get the hell out of here.
No, thanks.
Everybody, excuse me.
Could you all follow us outside, please.
Betty, Betty, Betty
Another glass, please.
Are you really called Betty?
No sir, sorry. Don't worry about it.
Dad, can we talk?
Could you sit with me for a little while?
Wait. What?
Wait.
Get out of me.
Michael, can you give me a moment? What's happened?
Just give me a moment, please. What's happened?
Can I have a moment, please?
Yeah... of course.
Can you zip me?
Are you okay?
Okay.
Hi.
Good night. Have a good time.
I'm on my way home, my darling.
Please, Dad, I really need to talk to you.
Little Father
My dad would like to spend the night. Is there a room available?
Room number eight is vacant.
We could prepare that for your father.
Well.. Yes, my father likes that.
Then we can have breakfast in the morning.
Justine
Why don't you come and have onion soup with us?
Tim. Get us some soup.
How's your wonderful night going?
It's too bad about Tim.
What about Tim?
He got fired.
He didn't last many hours in the business, but
then again, it's a rather unpredictable one, you're king one day and beggar the next.
So you go back to wherever you came from, right buddy?
I'm glad we found each other, Jack. I was looking for you.
Didn't I tell you? She can't stop working, not even on your wedding night.
I had nothing at the dinner
But I've been playing with an idea for a small campaign.
The problem is, how do we effectively hook a group of minors
on our substandard product,
preferably in a habit-forming way?
And I've reached a conclusion in regards to the tagline.
I was just thinking, what if
instead
we try to sell you to the public, Jack?
Then, surprisingly, I arrived right back where I started from.
At nothing.
Nothing? It's not such a bad tagline, Jack.
Would my newly fledged aide please...
expand a little on the thoughts of the tagline?
Nothing is too much for you, Jack.
I hate you and your firm so deeply
I couldn't find the words to describe it.
You are a despicable, power-hungry little man, Jack.
Is that a resignation?
'Cause there aren't too many jobs out there, I tell you.
I broke my plate.
So I
I guess we'll
take off now.
Yes.
This could have been a lot different.
Yes, Michael, that have been.
But, Michael
what did you expect?
Yeah.
You're right.
Claire
Sometimes, I hate you so much.
The way I see it, you're now short of a boss and a husband.
Could I, in all my humility, offer my services?
You have the ideas, I have the head for business.
We could be the perfect couple.
We've had good sex.
I don't think that's a very good idea.
No.
Excuse me, the result is ready.
What?
The number of beans in the bottle has been arrived at.
And?
Six hundred and seventy-eight. That's the final count.
Six hundred and seventy-eight?
And none of the guests got it right.
Really?
Some were pretty close, but no one guessed right.
Incredible. You could say that.
Incredibly trivial.
But that's the result of the competition.
And a lot of people would like to know the result.
And then there is the prize.
Throw it away.
Dad
To my beloved daughter, Betty.
I'm as proud of you as any father could be.
But I couldn't find you and I was offered a ride home
I couldn't refuse.
See you soon. Kisses from your stupid dad.
Justine, wake up.
Wake up.
We're going for a ride.
I tried, Claire.
Yes, you did.
You really did.
Come on.
Come on, Abraham, come.
Come on, let�s go. Come on.
The red star is missing from Scorpio.